IC Inbox

[everswirlingtoilet]

You've reached the phone of Nick Sax. Congratulations--I'm sure it's the highlight of your day.

Assuming you had a point to reaching out, leave a message regarding said point. If I think it's worth my time, I'll get back to you. If not...

...beep.

Comments

Re: private;

[ukan]

Only in trying to clean the smell of pirate out of my cabin. My fish survived, though. Did they take anything from you?

Re: private;

[everswirlingtoilet]

There is a certain aroma to the pirate life, isn't there?

Not from my cabin but some asshole stole my flamingo lamp out of the lounge. Now that pisses me off.

Re: private;

[ukan]

It says something they took your lamp and didn't touch the fancy soaps in my cabin. Bastards.

Re: private;

[everswirlingtoilet]

There's just no accounting for taste. Fucking pirates.

But let's be honest--they were never gonna take soap, fancy or otherwise. The way they avoid bathing, you'd think they were allergic to it.

Re: private;

[ukan]

You know, I'm a dog inside, nothing much smells bad to me but fake flowers. But those pirates? [A low whistle] I might never get that stink all the way out.

I'm thinking of getting soap making supplies though. You ever had cold process, artisan soap?

[everswirlingtoilet]

I suppose it smelled worse to you than to someone like me with a plain old human nose. And it smelled pretty damn bad to me.

That would be a no. Probably. I suppose my wife might've bought some back in the day, but it's been years since I've given any thought to soap. I use whatever's cheap and convenient.

[ukan]

You're missing out. I never thought I'd be 'that guy', but here I am. If Alec dares to bring lye on board, you're now obligated to act surprised when you get a bar.

[everswirlingtoilet]

I don't think I'll have to act. Having a guy give me a bar of artisan soap isn't something that happens often. Or ever.

Also, pretty sure I'll never be 'that guy' no matter how many fancy soaps you throw at me.

[ukan]

Hey, even the best of us need a good shaving soap, right?

So what kind of 'guy' would you say you are?

[everswirlingtoilet]

And then there are those of us who just don't bother shaving on a regular basis. [He's not saying Lark's wrong. He's only saying some guys don't put a lot of effort into their appearance.]

Good question. Not sure I've got an answer. I don't think I really know what kind of guy I am. Sometimes I think I do but I'm usually wrong.

[ukan]

I hope that means you tend to think you're an asshole and someone proves you're wrong about it.

[everswirlingtoilet]

That's very nice of you. [Yeah, he sounds a little suspicious. He doesn't trust niceness. Also, it makes him uncomfortable.]

However, I am definitely an asshole. It's okay. I've embraced my assholery. Sometimes a little too enthusiastically. I just don't know what I am besides an asshole. There's parts of me I've probably forgotten, or maybe parts I never knew about.

Geez. I sound like some try-hard New Ager. Might as well break out the crystals and put Enya on the stereo.

[ukan]

Don't forget the incense. Maybe a few mushrooms.

In my opinion, we need more assholes around here.

[everswirlingtoilet]

Wait. Those New Age types were into shrooms? Damn. If I'd known that, I might've given it a try.

Speaking as an asshole, I have to ask why would you want more of us around? Sure, we're fun at parties but other than that, we're pretty annoying.

[ukan]

Oh my reasons are completely selfish. If there are more assholes around, I can't be singled out.

[everswirlingtoilet]

Now that's clever. The best camouflage is hanging with a whole bunch of assholes. In fact, as long as you're not the most obnoxious one in the bunch, it's actually going to make you look good...ish.

[ukan]

Ahh, you get it.

...But you probably shouldn't follow my example. I'm pretty sure around here I'm known as the biggest asshole.

[everswirlingtoilet]

Never fear. I've never been one to hide my obnoxious behavior.

As far as the biggest asshole.... I think you've probably got some competition there.